I Love You Tube?
by ILLUMINATIMAGIKARP
Summary: ProJared and PeanutButterGamer smutfic. No. I'm not kidding. Yes, this story actually exists. You're welcome. Projared x PBG, Austin x Jared I do not own either of these... people? Webshows?
1. The Actual Story

**I Love You... Tube**

* * *

**A/N:** Since I can't seem to find any of these no matter how hard I search, I wrote one. Seriously, you'd think with all the joking about this and requests from ProJared there would be at least one easily findable fanfiction that's not buried in one of Tumblr's porn blogs. Okay now that I'm done getting sidetracked (and you're probably getting sick of reading this) here it is. May all enjoy.

* * *

Austin observed the blue-clad back of Jared as they weaved through the endless mall crowd together. The cotton fabric was wrinkled from many days of abuse. Tuesday evening around seven a knock on his door awoke Austin from his catatonic state. He had been watching an abundance of the Legend of Zelda cartoon in preparation for his next video. Jared had been standing at his door, duffle bag in one hand and a copy of Virtual Hydlide in the other. Austin wasn't sure, but he could have sworn he saw what looked like a lighter poking out from behind the case. Jared cracked a timid smile and said, "So… Mind if I crash here for a bit?"

And that was how it all started. It was Friday now, and Jared had been crashing on his couch for the past three nights or so. Despite their closeness, Jared had divulged little about what caused him to stay with Austin. During their bonfire of the-game-that-shall-not-be-named Austin managed to discover that Jared was going through a rough patch with his current girlfriend. The two had been on-again off-again for quite some time, and things did not look good for their relationship this time around.

In hindsight, a mall may not have been the best place to take his grieving friend. The two constantly passed jewelry shops, happy couples, and clothing boutiques that were common haunts of Jared's probably soon to be ex. Each thing they passed seemed to make Jared even more depressed. Austin quickened his pace to catch up with Jared. When he was beside him, he clapped him on the shoulder in a comforting gesture. Jared, however, was so lost in thought that he mistook Austin for a… robber, I guess… and he let out a most unmanly shriek.

Austin choked back a laugh, "Come on man, maybe it's time we headed home"

"Yeah, probably." Jared agreed as he was trying to hide his face from the gawking onlookers.

Austin grabbed Jared's wrist and led him through the throng of mall shoppers back toward their car.

* * *

The two arrived back at Austin's place and Jared immediately flopped down on the couch and reached for the remote control. Despite the early hour of five, Jared looked absolutely exhausted. Austin went into his small kitchen to prepare dinner for them. About thirty minutes later Austin emerged from the kitchen with two plates of spaghetti just in time to hear Jared yelling at the TV.

"Oh come on! How could you _not_ pick house number two?!"

Austin set down the plates of spaghetti on the coffee table and sat down in one of the chairs next to the coffee table.

"What'cha watchin'?" He asked

"_House Hunters_…" Jared cautiously picked up his spaghetti plate and fork.

"I didn't poison it or anything!" Austin insisted after a few wary glances on Jared's part.

"…" Jared turned the food over with his fork a few times, "I… Didn't know you could cook?"

"It's noodles in a bowl... That's pretty hard to mess up."

"Point taken." Jared finally relented and took a bite of the food. "You know, it's really not that bad."

After that the two spent the better part of their dinner in comfortable silence, only speaking when trying to predict the next pick on _House Hunters_.

The rest of the night passed with the two playing games on their 3DS's and watching the home and garden channel.

* * *

At two weeks it became official, Jared was now one hundred percent single. In fact, his girlfriend had already gotten a new boyfriend shortly after he left to stay at Austin's place.

Needless to say, Jared was devastated. Austin tried to comfort him, but he was quickly growing more distant. He figured that he just needed a bit of space to get his thoughts together.

Not two days later, Jared suddenly changed. Not only was he still a bit distant, but he was also twitchy and nervous too. Whenever he would interact with Austin his eyes would constantly drift away from Austin's and fix on some point just over his shoulder.

Well that got old to Austin in about ten minutes. He didn't want to confront Jared though, since he wasn't sure if this was just part of the… healing process?

Though, he did have to admit that Jared constantly avoiding his eyes and ducking out of rooms that he was entering _was_ getting really annoying. Just _why couldn't Jared look him in the eyes?_

Fortunately, Austin didn't have to wait very long.

* * *

Austin dried off his shaggy hair with a towel. As luck would have it, Jared opened the door to Austin's bedroom at this inopportune moment.

Before Jared had time to even blush, Austin put on his rape face and locked both himself and Jared in the room.

"Jared, man, what's up with you?" Austin demanded, "You've been acting really weird these past few days."

Jared's eyes darted nervously around the room. His face was quickly becoming heated, and Austin wearing nothing but his green and yellow triforce boxers didn't help.

"Are you sick or something? Your face is all red?"

Jared absently shook his head. The mere mention of his burning face brought even more embarrassing memories up to the surface. The dreams of Austin whispering sweet nothings into his ear and nipping lightly at his neck. He had long ago written them off as intrusive thoughts and buried them in the back of his mind. That is, until a few days ago when the dreams had come back with a fervor. Since then he could not look Austin in the eyes. No matter how hard he tried to push the thoughts away, they kept coming back.

"Jared?" Austin gripped Jared's shoulders tightly, "Man, you're looking kind of sick… Are you sure you're okay?"

Too close, _too close!_ He still needed time to get his feelings in check before he could face Austin like this. Jared began thrashing to get out of Austin's grip and get some distance between them. He wasn't getting away easily though, Austin quickly managed to wrestle him down onto the bed. Jared attempted a bit of weak resistance, but he was cornered. Austin's hands pinned his wrists to the mattress and the full weight of Austin's body rested on his stomach.

Their noses were practically touching. Jared could feel his heart racing at their proximity.

"Damn it Austin!" Jared shouted, "I can't do this right now, let me go!"

"What are you even talking about? Look man, I know you've been avoiding me the past few days. I know this is a rough patch in your life, but I love you man and I hate to see you so depressed-"

Jared cut him off by closing the slim distance between their lips. "Will you please let me up?" Jared pleaded.

"I… I don't understand…" Austin sat straight up, his body still pinning Jared's at the waist. One of his hands shot to his lips, the other one remained on Jared's chest. "But you… And I… I thought you were… You've… _What?!_"

Jared's face flushed even redder, if that was possible. "Look, I'm sorry… I got carried away, I just… Couldn't control myself I guess. I'll… I'll just go pack my things and-"

This time it was Jared who was cut off. Austin's sweet, soft lips pressed against his. They tasted like fresh mint and peanut butter.

"Austin… What does this mean?" He timidly asked after their kiss was broken.

"Jared…" Austin whispered, "I've… Loved you for a very long time. Practically since we met."

"Why… Why didn't you ever tell me?" Jared inquired curiously.

"I was afraid that you would reject me. You always seemed to have one girl or another on your arm. I just assumed you were straight. I figured it would be better to keep you close, as a friend."

Austin was a bit dazed after his admission. He got off of Jared and allowed him to stand up. Jared cleared his throat and turned towards the exit of the room. This was too much for him to take in. He needed to clear his head before he did anything stupid or rash. Before he could take a single step, he felt Austin's strong arms wrap around his middle.

"Please," he murmured into Jared's ear, "don't leave."

Jared couldn't even think of a coherent thought before Austin began placing tender kisses on the nape of his neck. Austin worked at the belt and buttons of Jared's pants with his nimble fingers. Jared was paralyzed. He wanted to resist, he wanted to tell Austin that this was all wrong. But damn if it didn't feel so _right_ in that very moment. All he could feel were Austin's soft hands running over his body in all the right places. He leaned back into Austin's body and moaned when he felt Austin's semi-hard penis stirring in his boxers.

Encouraged by his partner's moans, Austin looped his thumbs around Jared's belt loops and began slowly tugging his pants down. Once the offending garments were out of the way Austin moved back up to continue his assault on Jared's neck, this time nibbling and sucking certain spots to see what would make his lover tick. His nimble fingers had returned to removing Jared's clothing, this time working on his trademark blue button down.

Each button was carefully undone, with a practiced tenderness and care. With each severed connection the shirt slowly slid down over Jared's body, leaving his shoulders and part of his back exposed. Austin quickly capitalized on this and continued nipping and kissing down Jared's neck and shoulders. One particularly hard nip on Jared's shoulder caused him to let out a cry of pain. It would most likely bruise. Austin let out a small smirk of satisfaction upon this realization. Even if it would be easily covered up by a shirt, it still marked Jared as _his_.

Finally, after what felt like hours of sweet, agonizing torture the shirt fell to the ground and left Jared in a similar state of undress as Austin. Austin finally released his vice grip on Jared and circled around to face him. Clad only in his Hydlide boxers, Jared shivered at the loss of Austin's warmth.

Now facing each other, Austin dropped down on to his knees in front of Jared. He looked lovingly up into Jared's eyes and began gently tugging down his boxers. Soon, those too were discarded along with the other clothing items and Jared stood stark naked in the middle of Austin's room. Austin raked his fingernails lightly over Jared's hips and outer thighs. His hands settled just below Jared's hips, and his nails dug in a bit more. It was as if Austin was trying to keep himself steady.

The slight pain from Austin's nails quickly faded into pleasure when he felt Austin's tongue run teasingly over the underside of his dick. Jared soon found his hands searching for something to hold onto for support. His fingers managed to weave their way into Austin's hair to steady himself. Austin once again went to work, taking the tip into his mouth and slowly working his way down to the base, lavishing each and every inch with the attention it deserved.

Jared was reaching his limit fast, and Austin knew it. Austin retracted his mouth before Jared was pushed over the edge. A small whine left Jared's lips, but that was quickly silenced by Austin's hot lips on his and the promise of more to come. Austin curled his fingers around Jared's and led him over to the large king sized bed that they had wrestled on earlier. Jared sat down and scooted to the center of the bed while Austin turned to his dresser and pulled a tube of lubricant out of the top drawer.

"Why do you have lubricant..?" Jared asked, his curiosity piqued.

Austin lowered his eyes. Was that a flash of guilt in them?

"I've... Been with other men before." He quietly responded. It was obvious just by looking at the tube that it had been opened.

"You have?" Jared asked, he almost sounded disappointed. Of course Austin would have been with other men before him, he wasn't expected to wait for Jared forever, right? So… Why did it matter so much?

Austin set aside the tube and intertwined his and Jared's fingers. He leaned forward until his forehead rested against Jared's.

"None of that matters," Austin comforted him, "because the only man that I've ever truly wanted to be with was you."

It was such a sappy thing to say that Jared wanted to groan, but any noises he could have made were quickly forgotten as Austin leaned him back into the pillows and began peppering his neck and chest with light kisses.

Once Austin was done ravishing Jared's body, he prodded Jared's mouth with two fingers and inserted them when allowed access. Jared rolled over the two digits with his tongue to ensure that they were nice and lubricated.

As soon as his fingers were sufficiently coated, Austin removed his fingers from Jared's mouth and positioned them at his entrance. He gently inserted one finger and began stretching Jared out. Once he felt he was ready, he inserted his second finger in preparation. Austin tried to ensure the comfort of his lover, so once he felt that Jared was ready for him he removed his fingers and applied a generous amount of lubricant. Austin nudged Jared's legs apart and lined himself up with Jared's now ready entrance. Austin rested his forehead against Jared's once more and rested his arms on either side of Jared's head for support. Austin smiled and gave him a reassuring kiss on the lips. Slowly, Austin worked himself inside of his lover.

Tears began to form in the corners of Jared's eyes, but those were quickly kissed away by Austin. Each slow, painful movement was followed by a murmured "I'm sorry" or "I love you". Eventually Austin managed to bury himself to the hilt. He groaned and leaned his head into Jared's neck. It was his first time with a man, so Jared was obviously tight. Unfortunately, this would probably make the experience that much more painful.

Jared slowly nodded, indicating that Austin could continue to move. He started slowly and upped the tempo as Jared became more comfortable. The two soon were letting out a chorus of moans, grunts, and screams. Austin felt himself getting close. He reached between their bodies and began to pump Jared to ensure that he got his release. Just a few thrusts later Austin threw his head back and shot his semen into Jared's ass.

Jared followed not long after that and covered both of their chests in his cum. Austin collapsed on top of Jared and slowly removed his dick from Jared's sore ass. Once the strength returned to his arms Austin lifted himself off of Jared and snaked his tongue out to clean off any stray cum from Jared's face. Once his task was completed, Austin curled up beside Jared and rested his head in the crook of Jared's neck.

"… We never speak of this incident in the light of day."

"Agreed"

* * *

**A/N:** Just so everyone knows, NO. I do not rabidly ship this. I am merely disgusted by the lack of fanfictions that I have been able to find for it. Don't ask questions.

You may notice that there is a second chapter attached to this. No, it is not more mindless porn (because honestly I can't even believe I managed to make it through this chapter). It's more of an 'alternate endings' type scenario. Basically, all the things I immediately thought up while writing this so that I wouldn't actually have to write in the (probably poorly done) porn related parts (because seriously, I'm not getting paid to research the intricacies of gay sex... or getting paid at all for that matter) Look forward to it, I think some pretty weird things.

Oh and true to traditional fanfictioning, lemme know if there's any glaring errors that piss you off so much you just _have_ to write an angry review of it.


	2. Alternate Endings

**Alternate Endings**

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**A/N:** The many ways that I could have ended this if I had just let my sleep deprived brain run wild. For the sake of simplicity, these are all going to be part of one single chapter. Each grey line will indicate a new 'ending' and each 'ending' will begin with just a line or two from the story, since I'm sure you don't want to have to read the entire first part of the story over and over again (if you even managed to get this far in the first place). Heck I can barely read any of the story again, and I wrote it. And no, I was not high at any point. I promise.

* * *

Jared cut him off by closing the slim distance between their lips. He pulled away and let out a soft murmer, "Notice me senpai."

Suddenly sharks began flying out of his mouth and dancing around the room on their fins. Some materialized with bows and others with top hats and canes.

Just when Austin thought it couldn't get any weirder, Jared melted into a pool of water with nothing but two blank, unseeing eyes floating on the surface. Multiple Jared spirits flew from the eyeballs and began spinning overhead and obnoxiously singing the Pokemon theme song.

Austin's body began fading and it was replaced by a school of tiny fish swimming around his outline, as if they were trapped in a human shaped tank. Once his body completely faded, the sharks dove into action and began consuming the fish until there was nothing left of them.

The End

* * *

Jared cut him off by closing the slim distance between their lips.

"Now will you let me up?" He pleaded.

"Why would I do that?" Austin inquired, "I finally have what I've been striving for all these years."

"What… What do you mean?" Jared asked, all of his embarrassment from before now gone.

"Jared," Austin whispered, "I've always loved you, since the day we first met. I just knew that I had to have you all to myself. So I've been… meddling, you could say. Do you honestly think that all of those girlfriends would just mysteriously dump you for another, hotter guy? And what about that time you were kicked out of your apartment and needed to stay with me? Who do you think it was that made sure your rent didn't go through. I've been waiting for you to finally fall for me and only me, so that I could keep you all to myself."

"Uhhhhhhhmmmmmmmmaaaahhhhhhhhnnnnn… I think I wanna go home now…"

"Home? This is your home now Jared. And I'll never let you go again."

Austin descended menacingly onto Jared, and Jared blacked out.

The End

* * *

Jared cut him off by closing the slim distance between their lips.

Wait

Wait a second

What the fuck am I doing with my life?

Is this what it's come to?

I'm writing fanfictions for youtubers at five o'clock in the fucking morning.

Just, just what am I DOING?

And then common sense reared its ugly head and the word document was closed.

The End

* * *

Jared cut him off by closing the slim distance between their lips. Austin's eyes fluttered closed and his grip loosened on Jared's wrists. When the two broke from the kiss, Austin retracted his body from Jared's and blushed just as red as Jared did.

"Soooooooo…" Jared started, "Are you into BDSM?"

"What?!" Austin shouted as Jared pulled out a whip and spiked collar. He slapped the collar around Austin's neck before any more protests could be made. A leash soon followed.

"Now!" Jared said, striking a dramatic pose, "Let us go and frolic, my pet!"

"I am not okay with this."

The End

* * *

This time it was Jared who was cut off. Austin's sweet, soft lips pressed against his. He tasted of peanut butter and heaven. This moment was short lived though, as Jared realized something. Austin didn't just taste of peanut butter, he _was_ peanut butter. He was vomiting peanut butter into Jared's mouth like a mother bird feeding her young.

"Noooooooooo!" Jared shouted, "I'm allergic to peanut butter! It causes me to spontaneously combust!"

Jared exploded into jelly and Austin collapsed onto the mushy jelly pile. He then exploded into a pile of peanut butter, due to his molecular structure violently reacting with the Jared Jelly.

"Hey guys, you ready to-" Jon walked in on the scene. "OH my god. I have just the thing for this!"

Jon briefly left the room and returned with another mattress. He placed it on top of the Jared Jelly and Austin Butter.

"Well, my work here is done."

The End

* * *

Jared couldn't even think of a coherent thought before Austin began placing tender kisses on the nape of his neck. Austin worked at the buttons of Jared's pants with his nimble fingers. He untucked Jared's shirt and ran his smooth hand across Jared's stomach.

"I'm gonna put a baby in you," Austin whispered.

"Wait what?"

The End

* * *

The slight pain from Austin's nails quickly faded into pleasure when he felt Austin's tongue run teasingly over the underside of his dick. Jared soon found his hands searching for something to hold onto for support. His fingers managed to weave their way into Austin's hair to steady himself. Austin once again went to work, taking the tip into his mouth and slowly working his way down to the base, lavishing each and every inch with the attention it deserved.

It didn't take long to complete all two inches.

The End

* * *

"I've... Been with other men before." He quietly responded. It was obvious just by looking at the tube that it had been opened.

"You have?" Jared asked, he almost sounded disappointed. Of course Austin would have been with other men before him, he wasn't expected to wait for Jared forever, right? So… Why did it matter so much?

"Yeah, but look on the bright side!" Austin exclaimed, "Jon is great in bed!"

The End

* * *

The slight pain from Austin's nails quickly faded into pleasure when he felt Austin's tongue run teasingly over the underside of his dick.

"Wait a minute, wait a minute," Austin said, standing from his position on the ground, "Why am I the one doing all the work here?"

"Beeecause you love and care about me?" Jared asked.

"Forget that, if you're just gonna dead fish the entire time I'm out!" Austin yelled, slamming the door behind him.

Jared sighed and pulled out his phone. "I wonder if anyone has written any steamy NormalBoots fanfiction for me to jerk it to..."

The End

* * *

Jared couldn't even think of a coherent thought before Austin began placing tender kisses on the nape of his neck. Austin worked at the buttons of Jared's pants with his nimble fingers.

"Wait," Jared halted Austin's hands by covering them with his own, "before this continues, I have something very important to tell you"

Austin whined in displeasure, "What is it?"

"I'm secretly... A woman."

"No way!" Austin snorted, pulling off Jared's pants and underwear. He indeed met with the sight of female genitalia.

"Wow. Okay, boner killed." Austin pulled up his pants and left the room.

~Insert Jared sadface here~

The End

* * *

**A/N:** If you've made it this far without calling a mental asylum, congratulations! There they are, ten endings that are probably better than what I ended up putting in the first chapter.

If you have any questions feel free to ask! If you think I should be locked in a mental health facility... You're probably right!

Now if you'll excuse me I have to go re-evaluate my life choices.


End file.
